Mystery Science Theatre: Back to Earth
by torgosaurus
Summary: After crashlanding back on earth from the SOL, the bots are becoming restless
1. Chapter 1

Several months after finding a small flat to call home in Milwaukee, the bots were starting to become more irritated at their situation – living with Mike away from the comfort of the satellite.

The tension was wrought as Tom and Crow sat on the sofa in their small living area as Mike prepared their dinner. The bots weren't talking and were trying to distance themselves from each other by sitting on the hard edges of the couch. Mike brought their rice over and sandwiched himself between the two bots.

"You guys hungry?" said Mike in a cheerful tone, in a vague attempt to cut the tension. The bots said nothing. "C'mon guys," pleaded Mike "what's up with you? You normally get on better than this." During that day it had seemed that Crow and Tom were trying to drive each other insane. They had argued about everything, and criticized each other unjustly all day long. Tom had spent most of the day crying, as the stress from today's arguments had got too much. "Servo," said Mike "c'mon buddy, we can watch a bad movie if that'll make you feel better." Tom turned around to look at Mike, "That's not going to help," he sniffed "the only thing that'll make me feel better is if HE apologises." Mike turned to look at Crow, who was still staring at the wall in anger. "Look Crow, why don't you just apologise to Servo, and we can just move on and enjoy our dinner." Crow sighed "Fine, I'm sorry that Servo is such a big stupid baby." Tom burst into tears, and a shouting match quickly erupted between the two robots.

"I've had it!" shouted Mike, so loudly that the bots fell silent immediately. Mike got up from the sofa and turned to the bots. Lowering his voice slightly he said "You two have been driving me mad for the past month! You never seem satisfied! You're always fighting! I've had it with the two of you! Go to bed right now!" The bots silently got off the sofa and went to their beds behind the curtain at the back of the room. Crow was silent as he lay down while Tom was still crying softly. Mike quickly ate alone, and then changed for bed.

It was a restless night for him. He still couldn't quite believe the way he had shouted at them. It was out of character, he'd always imagined himself as a regular, calm guy. Struggling to sleep, he decided to fix himself some water.

He went into the kitchen silently, and reached for a glass from the cupboard. He could hear whispering from behind the curtain. "I just miss Joel" whispered Tom, "I miss him too" agreed Crow in a hushed tone. "I mean… it's just been so long, has he forgotten about us?" whispered Tom, worry rising in his voice. Mike quietly padded back to his room. "Perhaps Joel is the reason those two are so uptight right now? I mean, I can't think of any other reason they would be so cranky, it would make sense" thought Mike. Knowing that trying to sleep was a pointless exercise, Mike turned on his computer.

Mike quickly googled "hot fish shops osseo"

After about 5 minutes browsing, he found what he was looking for. Information about a hot fish shop in Osseo managed by Joel Robinson. Mike quickly dialled the number for the shop, now buzzing with excitement.

Joel unlocked the door to the hot fish shop early that morning. He as always first to arrive, due to his anxiety about doing his job well. He walked to the back of the shop and entered his small, untidy office. The phone on his desk was flashing. As he sat down, he played the message waiting for him:

"Uh Joel? Um hi, it's Mike Nelson from the Satellite of Love? I replaced you after you escaped… um we met briefly when you repaired the satellite for us? Well, anyway, the bots and I made it back to Earth, and, well, they really miss you. So I was phoning to see whether you wanted to see them again? It would really make them happy, so uh, ring me back once you make a decision. Um bye"

Joel leaned back in his chair. Was this real? Had the bots really come back to Earth? And DID they really want to see him? Joel picked up the phone and quickly dialled Mike's number.

Back in Milwaukee, a phone started ringing shrilly in a small apartment at 6am. Mike awoke with a start, and quickly ran to the phone. "Hello?" he said nervously. "Hi, Mike? It's Joel," replied the voice on the other end. Mike's nervousness was quickly replaced with excitement. "Boy, I'm glad I found you, how're you doing?" asked Mike. "I'm okay, so, Mike, did you say that the bots came with you?"  
"They sure did, and they are driving me mad. They miss you a lot"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Oh yes, last night I heard them say it themselves"  
"Do you think I could see them?" enquired Joel. "Please do," said Mike "when can you get here?"  
"Well… as soon as I suppose. Don't tell them though, I want it to be a surprise."

Within two hours, Joel was ready to go. He'd packed an overnight bag, and booked a hotel that was in walking distance of the bots new home. He told his colleagues that he had to make an emergency trip to Milwaukee – and with that, he headed east. Joel pulled up to his hotel at 11:30am.

At 11:30, the bots and Mike sat down for lunch. The day had been less than positive, with Crow and Tom arguing for much of the day. At lunch, Crow was decidedly much quieter, as he ate away at his sandwich. As Mike was clearing up the dishes, he heard a knock at the door.

"I wonder who that could be?" he said loudly and knowingly. He walked towards the apartment's door and slowly opened it. A man with sleepy eyes looked back at Mike. "Hi," said Joel, looking around the small apartment anxiously. "Come in!" said Mike, as he opened the door wider for Joel. "Hi everybody!" said Joel in a loud and cheerful voice. The bots turned to the door. "Joel?" said Crow. "J-Joel. JOEL. IT'S JOEL! Joel's back!" said Servo, looking as he might explode from excitement. They moved quickly towards him. Joel picked Tom up and cuddled him, while Crow attached himself to Joel's leg. "Oh Joel! We missed you so much!" said Crow "We haven't seen you in so long!"  
"I heard you talking last night about missing him" said Mike, "so I thought that seeing him would cheer you guys up." Joel smiled, "I think it worked"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey guys do you wanna grab something to eat? If you're not full already?" said Joel, the bots still clinging onto him for dear life. "Yes!" said the bots in unison as they loosen their grips on Joel's legs. "Well okay, my cars in the lot downstairs," said Joel gesturing behind him.

"Mike, are you coming?" asked Tom. A short silent pause filled the apartment. "Uhh no Servo," said Mike, "I've got a lot of stuff to do and it's your special time with Joel." Tom tried to not to sound disappointed. "Bu-" he started to say, but he was interrupted by Crow yelling from outside "C'mon Servo I'm hungry!"

Joel lifted Tom into the backseat of the car while Crow clambered in using the other door. "Buckle up guys," said Joel cheerfully. Until now he had been feeling somewhat tense for no obvious reason. Perhaps it was just his anxiety of seeing the bots again, or perhaps it was meeting Mike in a more casual circumstance that worried him. Whatever it was, his mood had lifted and his anxiety had died down.

Joel started the ignition and the car turned out of the lot. Joel switched the radio on, and The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel had just started to play. The bots started to hum happily as they drifted down the road. "Joel?" said Tom. "Hmm?" said Joel, paying more attention on the road than on his robotic friend. "Why didn't Mike want to come?" asked Tom quietly. "I'm not sure Tom," said Joel, "he's probably really busy – besides, I thought it would be nice if it was just the three of us for today. Why? Don't you want to spend time with me and Crow?" laughed Joel. "By the way guys," said Joel, "I don't know Milwaukee that well, where do you guys want to eat?"  
"Oh Joel Joel Joel!" cried Crow "Mike normally takes us to Comet Café can we go there please please please?"  
"Okay buddy," said Joel and Crow started shouting directions.

"What are you guys thinking of getting?" asked Joel as he and the bots peered into their menus. "How would you boys like a hamburger?" said Joel, doing his best impersonation of Al from "I Accuse My Parents." The bots laughed loudly, this is what they had missed – Mike didn't talk about the old days so much, with much more focus to the future and the present. "I might have a small salad and then treat myself to some froyo," said Crow, quoting himself. The bots and Joel laughed heartedly again. They finally settled on ordering three hamburger sandwiches with all the trimmings.

"So, uh, what have I missed?" said Joel as himself and the bots settled into their meals. "Well, um, not much Joel, really," said Servo. "We've got a pretty nice place with Mike and I guess we're doing fine."  
"Um hmm," hummed Joel, "how's he doing?"  
"Oh? Mike? Um…" said Tom, "he's doing fine I guess."  
"Aww good," says Joel with a sense of relief, "although, he told me that the two of you have needed to have some time-outs recently." Crow and Tom stopped eating and looked at each other. "S-Sorry," said Crow quietly. "It's okay Crow, but you really need to be apologising to Mike and not me."

Joel paid for the meal as the bots were finishing up. "So fellas, what do you want to do now?" said Joel with a yawn. It was only 2pm but he was exhausted from his long drive. "Do you guys wanna go to the park or something? We could feed the ducks."  
"Yeah, okay let's go," said Crow before Tom could suggest going to a museum or gallery.

After a very short drive, Joel and his metal pals had arrived at the park. Crow ran on ahead while Tom waited for Joel, who was walking quite slowly due to his lack of energy. Joel and Tom walked together quietly mostly, just enjoying each other's company. After several minutes walking, they could hear Crow yelling in front of them. "Joel! Tom! They're selling balloons can I have one please please?" Joel and Tom caught up to Crow who was standing captivated in front of a small balloon seller's cart. "Could I get a balloon?" said Crow in his best Texan accent. Tom started giggling, but Joel stood there slightly puzzled.

Balloons in hand, the bots headed to the lake to feed the ducks. "Oh Joel, we forgot to bring bread!" said Servo, disappointed. "That's okay Tom," said Joel quietly, "how's about we just sit here for a while?" Joel led the way to a bench underneath a willow. "C'mon," he called. Crow climbed up, his feet dangling above the ground, Joel picked Servo up and placed him next to him. Almost as if reading his mind, Tom cuddled into Joel, as Joel cuddled into Crow.

The three sat there holding each other, feeling like a family again.

"I'd better get you boys home before Mike starts to wonder what happened to us!" said Joel, as he noticed the park growing colder and darker. The bots grabbed their balloons and tiredly followed Joel to his car, as their long shadows cast along the ground. Again, Joel lifted Tom into the car while Crow climbed in on his own volition. Joel started the car and started the radio once more. "Chances Are" by Johnny Mathis started playing. "Alright, Johnny Mathis, get my gun!" said Tom.

Joel, Tom and Crow climbed up the stairs to the apartment, balloons still in hand. Mike opened the door, with almost an expression of relief on his face, "Hey everyone," he said as they made their way in. "What did you get up to then?"  
"Well first we went to Comet Café and then we went to the park and Joel got us balloons!" said Tom hurriedly. "Ah," interrupted Joel, "and what did I tell you two to say to Mike when we were in the café?" Crow sighed, "We're sorry Mike." Mike smiled, "That's okay boys, why don't you get ready for bed? I'll tie your balloons to the curtain rod, okay?" The bots headed off to the bathroom.

"So, um, do you want some coffee?" Mike asked Joel to try and avoid an inevitable awkward silence. "Uh, no, I'm fine," said Joel quietly, "I'm just going to say goodnight to the bots and then go to my hotel."

"Thank you Joel," Mike blurted out, who then looked away coyly. "For what?" said Joel, "I've had a great time with the bots! It's nice to see you again as well." There was a slight pause which was quickly interrupted by Crow and Tom. "We're ready for bed, can Joel come and say goodnight?" asked Crow. "I'll be right there!" said Joel. "I love you Tom Servo, I love Crow."  
"You're not my real father," said Crow quietly with a giggle


	3. Chapter 3

Mike awoke that morning to that sound of shouting and broken crockery. He quickly got his dressing gown on and ran out of his room to the kitchen, where he found Tom and Crow trying to make breakfast. "Guys!?" cried Mike, "what on Earth are you doing?" Crow and Tom looked behind them at an unimpressed, half asleep individual. "Just making breakfast Mike!" said Tom, "do you want some?"  
"No I don't want some, why didn't you wake me if you wanted breakfast?" asked Mike, as he bent down to pick up the broken pieces of china. "We were hungry and we wanted to be up early so we could see Joel," explained Crow, trying to reach the coco-pops. "Um… a little help here Mike?"

Mike quickly poured the cereal for the bots and started to make some coffee. "What are you guys going to do with Joel today then?" asked Mike with a yawn. "Ooh ooh! I want to go to the theatre!" piped Tom, hovering above his chair with excitement. "No Servo!" said Crow sharply, "I want to go to the zoo instead! THAT'S fun!"  
"Well I guess you can talk to Joel when he gets here," Mike laughed. His plan had certainly worked, he hadn't seen the bots this happy in a long time.

Joel turned up to the apartment shortly after the bots had eaten their breakfast. He walked in with a smile. "Hey everybody!" he said happily. "Joel!" exclaimed the bots in unison. "Is any of that coffee going?" Joel asked, turning his attention to Mike.

"Joel, what are we gonna do today?!" asked Crow excitedly. "Can we go to the zoo please please please? Mike hasn't ever taken us there!"  
"Okay buddy, we've still got time, I'm going have to some coffee and talk to Mike a bit okay?" said Joel softly. "Ugh, you guys are so boring!" said Crow, "Tom… I'll race you down the stairs!"

Joel sat next to Mike on the small sofa, their thighs almost touching. "Joel…" sighed Mike, "I'm really sorry… but I'm going to have to ask… what's going to happen after this? I mean, these few days, they've been great… uh, for the bots, and, um I want… well, I know they want… you to stay in touch." Joel looked at Mike sympathetically, "Don't worry about it man, I'm planning on it. I didn't realise how much I missed the bots until seeing them again; and uh well, you seem like a nice guy and it'd be great to get to know you better." Mike blushed and took another sip of coffee. He composed himself and cleared his throat. "So what is happening after this?" Joel leaned back and sighed, knotting his eyebrows. "Well, I guess, we can keep in touch online and stuff for the mean time, and maybe you and the bots could come and stay with me. Y'know, for holidays and stuff."  
"I'm looking forward to my holidays already," said Mike with a smile.

Suddenly, the door swung open with a panting Crow in the doorway. "I won!" he exclaimed, and ran into the apartment while a defeated Tom Servo trailed behind. "Can we go to the zoo now Joel?" Joel laughed, "Yeah, c'mon boys."  
"Is Mike coming?" asked Tom quietly. "I'm gonna stay here Tom," said Mike, "you guys enjoy Joel, because he's gotta go home tomorrow."

Joel carefully parked the car and Crow and Tom clambered out. "You guys ready?" said Joel excitedly. "Yeah!" said both the bots excitedly.

Joel led the bots around, trying to remember as many facts as possible about the animals they saw. The bots were captivated. Crow was asking if he could ride on all the animals, and Joel had to politely explain that he couldn't. Tom spent most of his time playing with the rabbits in the petting zoo, liking the quiet accompanied with it, the rabbits didn't make loud noises like a lot of the other animals; they just sat with him.

Joel and Crow left Tom with the rabbits in order to see the whole catalogue of animals. After an hour of playing with his floppy eared friends, Joel came to get Tom for an ice cream. "Joeelllll," whined Tom, "can we get a rabbit? Please?"  
"I don't think a rabbit would like it in Mike's apartment, there's no grass," said Joel softly. "What about your house Joel?" asked Tom. Joel froze, he swallowed loudly. "Oh I don't know…" murmured Joel. "How about that ice cream then? Crow's waiting," said Joel tactfully changing the subject.

Driving back to Mike's, now full of ice cream and animal facts, the bots were dozing in the back of the car. Tom's comment was running through Joel's mind. What did he mean by that? Did he really want to move in? Or was he just pushing his luck? Doesn't he want to stay with Mike? What would Mike think? Would Servo saying this hurt Mike? I don't want to be responsible for hurting Mike.

Joel walked his robot friends up to the apartment. Mike welcomed them in with a big smile. "Did you have a nice time?" Mike asked eagerly. "Yes!" the bots replied loudly and happily. "Well," said Joel quietly, "I'd best be going while it's still light, it's a long drive back home. See you guys soon, I love you."  
"Joeeellll!" Tom and Crow whined, "Are you coming back?" Joel bent down to become eye-level with the bots, "Of course! I was talking to Mike this morning and we said that you guys can come and stay with me for holidays, how does that sound?" The bots looked slightly brighter by this reassurance, "Okay Joel," said Crow sadly. "We'll miss you Joel!" said Tom tearfully. "I'll miss you too guys," Joel said, giving the bots a small kiss.

Joel got into his car and fired up the engine. The radio came on with a click.

"Satellite's gone way up tomorrow…" sang Lou Reed's voice from the speakers. Joel looked out of his car window with a sigh, and looked up towards Mike's and the bots' apartment, and with that he drove home to Osseo.


	4. Chapter 4

The skype session had been going on for what seemed like days. After Joel had left and promised to keep in touch, the bots had been videoing Joel daily. They didn't want him to miss a thing. Every single tiny update in their lives – Joel heard about. Even when was busy with the shop, he'd make sure to check up in the evenings.

The bots had gone to bed after a particularly long skype session, and Mike and Joel continued to talk.

"So what do you say Mike?" asked Joel, "Why don't you and the bots come over next week?"  
"Sure… yeah, I mean, I can't see why not," said Mike. "You seem kinda hesitant, are you okay?" asked Joel softly. "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired," Mike said quickly. "I'm okay… just," Mike paused and looked away from the screen shyly, "I guess I'm just looking forward to seeing you."


	5. Chapter 5

Mike's car, bots and luggage in tow, glided through Wisconsin towards Osseo. "Um, Mike? Are we there yet?" asked Crow. Tom was asleep in his car seat – snoring quietly. "Nearly honey, just another half hour," said Mike, concentrating on the road. "It looks like a scene from "Manos": The Hands of Fate," said Crow, half-bitterly and half-jokingly in regards to the less than exciting scenery from the car window. He got nearly no reaction. He repeated himself, breaking the silence. "Yes, Crow we heard you," said Mike distractedly. "Hey Tom!" said Crow, and he stretched his arm to tap his brother. "Tom! Tom!" he nagged. "Huh?" said Tom, as he was waking slowly. "What is it Crow?" Crow started giggling. "It looks like a scene from "Manos": The Hands of Fate!" Tom sighed and went back to sleep.

"Hey guys! We're here!" exclaimed Mike with a smile. "Servo! Wake up!"  
"Hey everybody!" said Joel as emerged from the door of his apartment building. "Joel! Good to see ya!" said Crow as he lowered himself from the backseat of the car. Mike unstrapped Tom from his car seat. Joel strode over to his friends. "Good to see you too Crow, hey there buddy." He walked round to the back of the car where Mike was unloading the trunk. Joel stood there awkwardly in front of Mike, not sure whether to go in for a hug. Mike went for one anyway, causing Joel to blush. "Missed ya man," whispered Mike.

"Right, Tom and Crow, your sharing this room in here," said Joel, showing the bots and Mike around his apartment. "Uh, great Joel," said Crow sarcastically. Mike rolled his eyes. "Does Mike have to share with us?" asked Crow, "it doesn't look big enough."  
"Mike's sleeping on the floor in my room," said Joel calmly. "Who wants Chinese takeout tonight?"  
"Me! Me! Me!" said the bots in unison, and they started bouncing on the mattresses in their room.

With the food eaten, Joel, Mike and the bots sat down to watch some TV. Joel and Mike sat on either end, while Crow sat in the middle, Tom sat on Mike's lap. Crow had put himself in charge of the remote, and was almost frantically flipping channels. Tom let out a small burp. "Guess you ate your food too fast buddy?" said Joel. Suddenly, Crow said, loudly: "Joe Don Baker is Mittens, he's a cop!" Joel turned from Tom to the TV. "Oh no…" uttered Joel. Mitchell was being shown. "Crow, honey, do you not want to watch something else?" asked Joel. "Nah, there's nothing else on," said Crow. "Crow. No," said Tom. "C'mon guys! I haven't seen this movie before," said Mike. Everyone else groaned. "But Mike, it's Joe Don Baker, you're not missing much," said Tom. "Well… I guess it could be fun to recollect?" said Joel, trying to brighten the situation. The bots and Joel suddenly started chanting "waka-jo-waka" and they continued on with the movie.

"My-my-my-my-Mitchell," sang Joel and the bots as the credits started to roll. "Well there it is Mike, we can't say we didn't warn you," said Tom. "And to think that that was the last bad movie I had to sit through," said Joel, "makes you think don't it?"  
"Tom, Crow, you should probably go to bed," said Mike, breaking the silence. "Mike's right guys," Joel agreed, "off to bed." Crow and Tom silently went to their room and Crow closed the door, leaving Mike and Joel alone. "You still alright to sleep with me?" asked Joel, Mike laughed nervously in reply. "Damn it, not like that, you know what I mean," Joel said quickly, his cheeks going slightly pink. "Shame," said Mike with a wink, also blushing. "Well, I'm going to check on the bots, see that they're settled and all," said Joel excusing himself.

Mike was putting a brush through his hair as Joel walked into the bedroom. "How're they doing?" asked Mike. "Uh, yeah they're fine, Tom asked me if he could assess my dreams when I wake up?" said Joel with a yawn. "Oh yeah, that's his thing at the moment," explained Mike. "Well, better get into bed I suppose," he said, getting up off of the floor, and shuffling over to the air-bed in the corner. Pulling back the cover, he discovered a problem. "Um, Joel?" he said, "I think this bed has got a puncture, maybe I should sleep on the couch?"  
"Nah man it's cool, you could double up with me if you want," suggested Joel in a friendly tone. "Only if you want to though," he added quickly. "It looks like it's going to be that way," said Mike with a chuckle. He lay down on the right hand side of the bed, and absentmindedly watched Joel strip down to his t-shirt and briefs. He climbed into bed next to Mike. They lay silent for a few minutes. "It's weird y'know?" said Joel. "What?" asked Mike. "Mitchell I mean, like, that was my last day on the Satellite of Love, and I didn't even know it," explained Joel, "and you helped me escape, only for you to get blasted up there and have to deal with everything."  
"At least you left the bots there for me," said Mike reassuringly, "without them I would have gone mad."  
"I know man," said Joel, "I just feel kinda bad that I escaped and you had to replace me." Mike propped himself up. "Look Joel, you had no choice in the matter, I likely would have had to go even I didn't help you." Joel turned to look at Mike, "I suppose you're right." Before either knew what was happening, Mike kissed Joel on the forehead. "Oh God, I am so sorry," said Mike quickly, flushed bright red in the darkness. "Hey it's okay," said Joel with a slight laugh. He then leant over and gave Mike a kiss between the brows. Mike sighed heavily, slowly, "What just happened?" he asked after some time. "I'm not sure either," said Joel, echoing that with nervous laughter. "Oh boy. I am confused."  
"You're not the only one," said Mike quietly. "I say we get to sleep and see this if this makes sense in the morning," said Joel, as he made himself comfortable for the night.

At 5 am the next morning, Mike woke up. He opened his eyes slowly, and saw Joel's sleeping face next to his. Last night's conversation and kiss were running through his mind. "I've always had kind of a crush on him, or was it just a strong feeling of friendship? Is he just humouring me? Is he even gay? Am I gay? What do I do now? Should I wake him and ask him? No, no, no, he'll have to wake up sometime." Ten minutes later, Joel was still sleeping and Mike was still restless. Mike started coughing loudly to "accidently" wake Joel up. His eyes opened slowly. "Hi Mike," he said "do you need a drink of water?"  
"What went on last night?" Mike said quickly. Joel looked taken a back. "We were talking, and then you kissed me, and I kissed you. That's all," said Joel putting his head back on his pillow. "What did it mean?" Mike asked nervously. "Whatever you want it to Mike, dig it," said Joel with a slight laugh. Mike giggled, "I guess I always have admired you." Joel looked at him sleepily and smiled. "Sorry," added Mike. "There's nothing to be sorry about buddy, don't worry," said Joel softly, "Now I'm going back to sleep."


End file.
